The only baggage you can bring is all that you can't leave behind.

I blinked and it was over. The best year of my life, thus far, has come to an end. After a final banquet, one last asado, jamming in the airport in Buenos aires, and landing in LA 14 hours later, we are back in the USA for good. I am still in denial that it's actually really over; that I won't be at the casa and seeing the same 65 faces every day or eating dinner with my familia again. Surprisingly, I didn't cry as much as I thought I would. The only time I really broke down was when we landed and were going through immigration, and the immigration officer said "Welcome home, 'mam." I started sobbing partly because I was so happy to be back in the states, but mostly because that's when it hit me that we all were leaving behind our incredible Argentine adventure to become just another memory in our past. I wasn't ready for it to become a memory. I'm still not ready for that. I know that all things in life come to an end and that life actually does get better than this (though at this point, I don't really see how because I can't think of anything that can top this past year). But I'm not ready to be separated from my two new families. Even though the majority of the students in our group will be together again in the fall, it won't be the same. We will all go back to hanging out with our friends that we left behind in September (or December for those who came for a semester) and the 65 of us may not be all together again. And who knows when I'll be going back to BA to see my familia. It could be two years from now or it could be twenty. What a weird thought. You're probably reading this and thinking, "Wow, what a pessimist. She's already going through post-abroad depression and she hasn't even been back for 24 hours." Well, you're wrong about this first part but the second thing may actually be true. That may seem pathetic or silly but to me, that sadness about it being over just shows that I had the time of my life. I traveled South America! I gained two new parents and four sisters! I developed dozens of God-centered friendships and came to love 65 strangers! What an adventure I had! Although it's over and I know that I will be sad about it for awhile, no one can take away the amazing memories of my year in Argentina. The things I did and the people I met will stay in my heart forever.

To my BAer's: Thank you for loving me and loving each other the way that you did. I learned so much about myself, God, and life from y'all and have been changed because of that. I am so grateful for your friendships and for all of the memories we share. Each one of you has a very special place in my heart. Muchisimos besos :)

Fall 2010

Spring 2011

I surrender ALL.

Have you ever been told something over and over again but it takes you until the hundredth time to finally realize the meaning and truth of it? As Christians, we always told to surrender our lives to Christ because of His death and resurrection for our sins. But as humans, we are so caught up in the world and not nearly as caught up in Him. I find myself being swallowed by worldly obsessions: material things, school, friends, boys, looks, etc. This year as been a year of personal growth for me and there is no doubt that I have grown in my faith in the Lord. But even with that growth, I forgot the most important thing of all; the thing that should completely define me as a Christian: fully committing my heart to God. I've tried to convince myself that I have complete faith in God and I have been fooling myself the whole time. I don't have complete faith in God. Despite the incredibly blessed life He has given me, I still doubt that He is in control. Why?! I have no reason to believe that. I'm sick of being blinded by worries and fears that my life is not happening the way I want it to. Even if things don't go according to my plan, things will go according to His plan. In order for me to trust in Him, my heart needs to belong to Him.

An amazing season of my life is coming to an end. Through eight months of joy, happiness, sadness, and heartbreak, I have become a new person. And just four days before I finish the most challenging and fulfilling chapter of my life, I have learned the most important and rewarding lesson of all: to surrender my heart and my life to Christ. "I have been crucified with Christ and it is no longer I who live, but it is Christ who lives in me. And the life I live in the flesh I live my faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." (Galations 2:19-20).

No more worries. No more doubts. Take my heart. It is Yours.  

Family time

Yesterday I went with my familia to Tigre, a little canal city outside of Buenos Aires. We had the BEST time! We walked around the fair, ate waffles on a stick, and took tons of pictures. This was the first time since Brisa's birthday last semester that all seven of us spent the day together. I think the coolest thing about the day was that the whole time I was with them, I didn't think about Pepperdine or anyone in the group. I just thought about being with my familia and how natural it felt to spend time with them. Then, of course, it hit me that once I leave in 10 days (oh my gosh!) that I won't see them again for a long time (I'm not saying "never" because I WILL come back someday). I couldn't believe it. I still can't believe it. I've spent seven months with this family; they know what I look like in the morning, what I don't like to eat, how cluttered my room can be, etc. Even though the stupid language barrier has prevented us from really getting to know each other, they're still my familia. I hope that I'm not just another student to them, I hope I've somehow impacted their lives,  and I hope they know that I love them so much and that living with them has been one of the best parts of studying abroad.

Te amo much, mi familia Argentina :) 

Crazy, beautiful life.

It's been awhile since my last post. When the long weekend ended, it hit me that the semester is coming to an end. And let me tell you: it hit me hard. Thankfully, we still have 22 days left and even though that may seem like a lot, I know that it is going to fly by. You may be wondering, "what are you going to do during those 22 left in Argentina?" And here is my answer:

1) Go to Tigre (little city outside of BA) with my familia. At dinner tonight, the girls asked if I had ever been and when I said no, they got very excited and said that they are going to take me there next Sunday so that we can "take lots of pictures!"
2) Take a tour of Teatro Colon.
3) Hop on a bus with some friends and see where we end up.
4) Go to La Bomba (a huge drumming event on Monday nights).
5) Eat too many empanadas.
6) Buy some leather boots or a leather jacket.

I wanted to make my list practical because I knew if I made one with 20 things on it, I wouldn't get it all done. So hopefully I can stick to the things above and leave BA feeling like I did most of what I wanted to do.

On a more serious note, one of the biggest lessons I've learned this semester is how short and precious life is. As cliche as this is, time really does fly by and I've learned that the older we get, the more real that cliche becomes. It feels like I got on that return flight back to BA yesterday but that was almost three months ago. I've said it before and I'll say it again: this semester... no, this YEAR has been incredible. The best one of my life, and it's hard to believe that life actually gets better than this. God has blessed me tremendously. There are days when I just praise Him for that and wonder why in the world He thinks I'm deserving of a life as great as mine. But because of that gift, it is my responsibility to live this life to the fullest and give Him all of the glory.

"Listen to your life. See it for the fathomless mystery that it is.

In the boredom and pain of it,

no less that in the excitement and gladness:

touch, taste, smell your way to the holy and hidden heart of it, 

because in the last analysis all moments are key moments, 

and life itself is grace." 

- Frederick Buechner